My Diary


I get my first paid vacation from my first real after college job!  It starts TOMORROW on 4/15 and lasts until 4/28.  I am going back to my home town and my state, TEXAS, Tejas, whatev.

I have not been home in 8 and a half months and for that entire time I have been in NYC with out one day of rest from the excessive horns and noise.  I am privileged to live in New York but its a place you definitely need a break from.

I cannot sleep.

Its like I am in 4th grade and tomorrow is my 10th birthday party.  As if I am excited about the breaking of the pinata, getting new toys, the games….but also I am nervous because I hope my classmates like the party and I hope they all show up.  After weeks of planning and sending out corny birthday party reminders, its the night before and I am restless.

Well I just feel giddy and nervous for the long flight alone and happy all at once!

I have many things planned and will blog all about TX.  It feels so foreign now since I have been away for so long.  I feel I will be amazed by the fact my washer and dryer is in my house, people do not honk, I can actually walk around the state without bumping into people, there are deers in the street, and there is grass and shrubbery everywhere, and the mailmen actually drive cars to every house instead of walking their mail cart.

I love NY but TX is sooo much easier.  I will be sleeping to 11am instead of waking at 7 every morning because of Mr. Trashman.

I am in love with the thought of a 2 week change and I love TEXAS!

whoop, yee-haw, What-a-burger, BBQ, shootin guns, and fishin…….

peace ya’ll

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Hey. I am in the process of relocation…..in the city, so I cannot post blog updates ATM… “theres too much pressure and I’m nervous and the taxi man turned on the radio and a Jay-Z song was on”…saying “New Yooork concrete jungle where dreams are made of”….so let me make it happen.

I’ll have to get back to you in…

Against all odds from the Postal Service is what I listen to as I walk alone down the city streets. Blasting music on high walking through stop lights. When the song is over I come back to here and now.
If you want to feel real download this song and take a walk. It’s when I think.

sorrow

So when I decided I was moving out of TX it was about Spring Break time. I told my parents and they said “AS IF”. They totally thought it was just another thought in my head. Well when I say something I usually do. From that moment on until I left on August 5th all my parents would say was “HAHA you want to go to New York? You will never find a job in this economy. You are going to fail and run back home. It is too hard to live there. You are crazy.”

So I pack up and left. I researched many jobs and had 13 interviews lined up. I even had one part time job set up for the first weekend in the city. I was going to be staying with friends of a friend. People whom I had never met. I slept on the ground. Roaches in my face. Hot as HELL and I lived out of a suitcase with dirty wrinkled clothes for 3 weeks. Running from interview to interview to part time job to dive bars.
So I was trying to find a job but at the same time trying to find a place to live! Signing a lease in NYC means you have to make 45 times the rent annually which means your salary after taxes has to be over an estimated $90,000 if you are living in a $2,000 apartment! My parents would not be a guarantor so I had to find a place that allowed a cat and did not make me do a credit check or sign a lease. So I did but I share a freaking bed with another girl. We occasionally wake each other up in the middle of the night because we bump in to each other. Usually what is said is “GIRL get on your side of the bed” HAA Its what I had to do to stay here.

So on the 2nd day of work I started getting terrible abdomen pains!! I try to focus but it hurts. I deal with it for over a week until one night I had to run to the emergency room and got emergency surgery. All alone…I didn’t need you mom. The decision to go to the ER that night saved my life. The only ironic funny crappy thing about that is the fact that my insurance for work would have paid for everything!!! Every cent if my appendix would have just WAITED FIVE DAYS!!!!

I bought the iphone with my first paycheck and signed a 2 yr contract with AT&T for myself. I have never had a credit card because I use debit. The made me pay them a $500 down deposit that I cannot get until NEXT October!!! OMG that day my paycheck left my hands in hours because when I left the AT&T store my bill was over $800 due to phone and case and I paid rent that day $700!

I went to the dentist 2 days ago and I have 2 cavities…another $500.

OMG guess I cannot afford a REAL winter coat.

My parents have not given me a penny since and said they will not even look at my hospital bills for the appendix emergency.

Last week after work I was waiting for the bus to take me home and I was staring off in the distance with tired eyes from the computer screen when I noticed the NYC logos on all the cabs. I sighed and shook my head in disbelief that I did it. No matter what obstacles were placed in my path, I am here and will reside here for years I imagine. And all your criticism was wasted breath because it never came true. I am a tough and I roll with it.

SO I CAME TO A CONCLUSION:
I am a full blown adult, take a look at me now
gone